Mama

It's hard to imagine that 2 years ago I had no idea how my life was about to change. Everyone tells you that having a baby changes your life, but it's really impossible to understand until it happens. Last year I was in a hard spot on Emma's birthday, as the day brings some hard memories. I won't lie and tell you that I don't feel those same things still, that I don't lie awake at night and think about the day that she was born or wonder how things might have been different. But despite all that it becomes more evident to me every day why things happened the way they did. I would never wish our story on anyone. Having a preemie is hard and it's not the way anyone wants to experience the beginning of their child's life. However I would never change things. Being a mom of a preemie has inspired me to truly find my passion in life. It's reminded me to never take anything for granted because I know how fleeting life can be. I have met some wonderful friends because I'm a preemie parent.
Being a mother is far and away the most amazing experience. The love I have for Emma can't be explained in words. It's more than I ever thought it could be and I'm grateful every day for this experience. I'm grateful for Emma and the person she has helped me become.

Terrible might be an understatement

We have entered the "terrible twos." Words can't express how much fun we're having this week. Poor Jamie is out of town and missing all the fun. I was a nanny, I thought I knew what I was in for, but this is ridiculous. I don't think I could even count the tantrums that Emma has thrown this week. She has one when she gets in the carseat and one when she gets out. One when you offer her food and one when you don't. One when you ask if she wants to talk on the phone and one when I'm talking because she didn't want to. EVERYTHING causes a tantrum and she's learned tha if she says "owie" it gets my attention. She changes from an angel to Satan in half a second and then back again just as quickly. She's a toddler version of Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde.
I am at my whit's end. I have never experienced this and am definately not equipped to handle it.
Please tell me it won't be like this all year.



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Before & After

Before nap




After nap




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Dessert

Emma got a special treat after dinner tonight and thoroughly enjoyed it :)












Emma was very polite while eating her cupcake






This doesn't have anything to do with her cake, but my dad taught Emma what a "grandpa says" (I love you) and it's super cute!





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Pictures

I've been getting nasty comments from my followers about the lack of pictures. I'm sorry, work is crazy and I've been trying to work out at night so my computer time is a bit limited. Hopefully these pictures will do the trick :)

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Yes, this is the same skirt she wore last year. I guess that is one upside of a child who doesn't grow

Valentine's Party at school

"oh, we get cookies??"

giggles

I love to listen to her laugh

From left to right: Gracie, Emma, Gavin and Emma C.

Full Circle

Today is the 2 year anniversary of me being admitted to the hospital with my abruption and being told that I was going to deliver at any moment and that are outlook wasn't positive (the story is here if you haven't read it). Today I had my first successful support group. In a word it was amazing. We had 7 families show up and the developmental therapist gave a short talk. Then we spent the rest of the time answer questions and just chatting with the parents. We gave out our gorgeous gifts and spent hours talking with a couple of the moms. It was everything I had ever dreamed it would be. It was the cumulation of everything that we've been through and the reason that we went through hell. It was awesome.

gifts

My Gram has been knitting hats for our Support Group congratulation gifts and I just had to share how talented she is. I asked her to help us out if she was bored about 3 weeks ago and she's making about 1 a day!! Not only is she churning them out, but they are SOOO adorable!! Obviously I don't want to have another preemie, but if I did, I would want them to wear one of these hats!

All the hats

For size comparison, isn't it adorable??

On one of Emma's teeny dolls

The final gift