Sunday, July 31, 2011

That's my daughter

Daughter - Loudon Wainwright III

Everything she sees

she says she wants.
Everything she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water
every time she fell I caught her.
Every time she fell.
That's my daughter in the water,
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I lost every time I fought her.
Yea, I lost every time.

Every time she blinks
she strikes somebody blind.
Everything she thinks
blows her tiny mind.
That's my daughter in the water,
who'd have ever thought her?
Who'd have ever thought?
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost everytime I fought her
Yea, I lost every time.

Jamie and I have been singing this song a lot lately - it definitely rings true at our house. It's amazing to me that in just a short while we'll have TWO daughters. As the end draws near it's becoming so real. I alternate between being so excited to meet our new little girl and having an absolute freak out at the thought of having a newborn. I am ready for her to join our family and to start working toward our new version of normal, but at the same time I worry as well. I worry about Emma and how she'll handle this. Thinking about her losing her only child status makes me cry - I know she's going to be an amazing big sister, but I know that it's a big change and I worry about her. I worry that I have no idea what to do with a newborn - Emma came home on a schedule and even though she had many newborn tendencies, it wasn't the same. There was no constant feeding, no umbilical cord cleaning, no changing diapers 40 times a day, no physical recovery for me while trying to care for a baby. It scares me.
But I'm so excited to have a new addition to our family one - a tiny, scrunchy, soft little one. I'm excited to have my body back - to be able to sleep on my stomach and get out of bed without grunting, to be able to wear shoes again. To say I'm uncomfortable is an understatement, but the end is in sight and I'm both embracing it and have my heels in the sand trying to stop it from happening.


Newman Family said...

I had the same worries as you before having Wesley...I was especially sad that Brandon would no longer be my only child. He has done amazingly well with being a big brother and I am sure Emma will be a great big sister. As for everything that comes with having a newborn, you kind of just figure it out. It is a lot different from having a NICU baby but I am so happy I got to experience it this way too. If you have any questions let me know. I am so happy for you that you made it full term.

Anne B said...

Good luck with everything. I'm sure you'll do great and your natural motherly instinct will kick in. I'm sure Emma will be an awesome big sister too. Don't worry and try to enjoy everything. Best wishes on the arrival of your new baby girl.