the downside

You know what sucks about being a mom? When you have a bad day(s), and all you want to do is curl up in bed with your head under the covers, you can't, because you have someone else to take care of. We didn't have a great day today. Emma had a doctor's appt and she's only gained 2oz in the last month (she normally gains about 1 lb, which isn't great, but it's okay), she also has a rash bad enough to get us a referral to the dermatologist. The doc wasn't so happy about the weight gain and we have to do everything we can to fatten her up in the next 2 weeks, including adding in another night feeding, which I guess *solves* our sleep issue. I feel like a total failure, and everyone keeps telling me it isn't my fault, but damn it still makes me feel like crap. My 8 month old doesn't even weigh 12 lbs and she's still in 0-3mo clothes, and not even close to growing out of them. Who knows what will happen if she doesn't gain enough weight before the end of the month.
Sometimes I really don't like being responsible for another person, some days it's hard enough to take care of myself and keep it together. Then you add in this tiny (really tiny) little person who depends on you for everything and you go and fail her. It's certainly not her fault that she's so little and if it's not her fault, who else can you blame it on but yourself? And you feel awful and want to hide in bed, but you can't. Sometimes it really sucks being a grown-up.
Then you take a look at this face and you realize why you get out of bed in the morning and put on your big girl panties...