My how time flies! It's hard to believe that Quinn is two today! She is such a fun person. She loves trucks, trains, baby dolls, babies, animals, her family and friends, reading, and making people laugh. She likes to steal the show, which is hard with an older sister like Emma, but often she succeeds. She's smart and sneaking and definitely sassy! We love you Quinn!!
It’s been a year since I last blogged, and I’m not sure I’m ready to start again (life with 2 kids is busy yo!), but I’ve never missed a World Prematurity Awareness Day. Join me as we honor the more than 1 million babies worldwide who died this year because they were born too soon, and the 14 million more who struggle to survive It’s amazing to me how much my views on prematurity change every year. Well, maybe that’s not right – I’ll always think that it sucks, but I guess the way I deal with it becomes different. This past year I’ve realized that having a preemie has made me more aware of also having a term baby. I’m constantly amazed by Quinn and what it’s like to be a mother that isn’t constantly worrying about milestones and catching up. She seems so advanced to me, but then I realize that she’s just following the “normal” path. I have to say it’s MUCH easier to be a parent this time around. My journey with Emma is not something that I’ll ever forget. It’s shaped who I am, both as a mother and a person, and honestly I think it’s shaped who Emma has become as well. Our experience is with me every day, and while I don’t dwell on it, I’m not sure there is a day that goes by that I don’t think about it. I’m lucky to have reached a spot where I can reflect on the positive moments during that time, while also thinking of the, much more numerous, scary/terrifying/depressing/anxious thoughts. Obviously if given the choice I would have opted to forgo anything to do with prematurity, but I understand now it was our path and am no longer angry about it. I do still get sad, or jealous, when I think about how it could have been, but for the most part I’m at peace. It’s hard not to be when you look at how far she’s come.
Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT! I made this bread. Yep, baked it entirely from scratch (well I didn't mill my own flour). Isn't it gorgeous? You want to know what is even better? It was so easy. Seriously the easiest bread I've ever made.
I'm pretty sure I'm the last person in the world to discover this recipe, but I'm going to share it anyway. It's the NY Times No Knead Bread and it's pretty no fail.
Basically you mix:
3 cups of flour
1/3 tsp active yeast (recipe calls for 1/4 tsp instant yeast)
1 1/4 tsp salt
Then you stir in
1 5/8 cup water
and mix it all up and pop it in a bowl. The recipe says to let it rise for 18+ hours, but I started it super late and only let it rise for 4 (stuff does rise faster at a high altitude). When it gets all bubbly you know it's risen enough. Then you dust it with more flour, fold it like an envelope and pop it in a bowl to rise some more (I let it rise an hour). Preheat your oven AND your pan and then I baked it at 450 degrees for 30 minutes, then take the lid off and bake until it's nice and brown.
The key is baking it in a closed container. I used my le creuset - you want to make sure that whatever you use has a lid and can stand up to the high heat.
Voila! It was seriously the easiest thing I've ever baked and it tasted amazing!!
Today more than 1,400 babies in the United States (1 in 8) will be born prematurely. Many will be too small and too sick to go home. Instead, they face weeks or even months in the newborn intensive care unit (NICU). These babies face an increased risk of serious medical complications and death; however, most, eventually, will go home.
But what does the future hold for these babies? Many survivors grow up healthy; others aren't so lucky. Even the best of care cannot always spare a premature baby from lasting disabilities such as cerebral palsy; mental retardation and learning problems; chronic lung disease; and vision and hearing problems. Half of all neurological disabilities in children are related to premature birth.
Although doctors have made tremendous advances in caring for babies born too small and too soon, we need to find out how to prevent preterm birth from happening in the first place. Despite decades of research, scientists have not yet developed effective ways to help prevent premature delivery.
In fact, the rate of premature birth increased by more than 20 percent between 1990 and 2006. This trend and the dynamics underlying it underscore the critical importance and timeliness of the March of Dimes Prematurity Campaign. The rate fell to 12.3 percent in 2008 from 12.7 in 2007, a small but statistically significant decrease.
We were one of the lucky ones. Our baby came home and has thrived despite her early and tumultuous beginning. Every day I'm reminded of the fear of having a high risk pregnancy and a baby born too soon. Even looking at my full-term miracle reminds me of how hard Emma fought and how lucky we are to have her.
Three has been a hard year, three and a half is REALLY hard. Our girl is full of sass and a whole lotta attitude. It snowed this week, we knew it was coming and Emma asked if she could stay up until it snowed. I told her no since I didn't know when it was going to actually start snowing. So instead of waiting up, she woke up early and sneaked out of the house with only a tank top, leggings and boots on. (random note... I keep using the word "snuck," which spell check tells me isn't really a word, but "sneaked" is, so that's why I'm using it) SHE SNEAKED OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! Thank goodness she went out the back door so none of the neighbors saw her and called the police. She then came upstairs and told me what she did.
I may not survive her teen years.
and if this picture is any indication her father won't survive her teen years either
We've been enjoying the gorgeous fall weather in Colorado and trying to pack as much fun into my last few weeks of maternity leave.
I'm interested to see how different the girls will be when they're older - right now they seem worlds apart, but I also know that a lot of that difference is their ages.
This one is pure sass. You never know if you're going to get a smile
or a glare
she rolls her eyes a lot, she might have learned that from me
but she's as fun as they come
and an awesome big sister!
This one is exploding with smiles
she's sweet and calm
she loves to just take it all in.
She also has some scrumptious cheeks - I spend a lot of time nibbling on them!
This morning Quinn was smiling at Emma and I commented to her how much Quinn loved her big sister. Emma replied "I know, that's why you went to the hospital to have her, so we could love each other!" Yes it is :)
In case anyone is interested in the details of how it all went down. A small note - I went into this with basically no "birth plan." My only goals were to have a healthy baby with Jamie in attendance. I didn't know if I wanted drugs or not, there wasn't special music I wanted played. I had no "wants" other than to just have a baby and not only did the experience meet my expectations, it greatly surpassed them. It went as well as I ever could have hoped and I truly loved my delivery.
We were told to call the hospital at 6:30pm on Friday night to be told when we could be admitted. When I called the nurse told me that I was 3rd of 3 inductions and they were pretty busy and didn’t know when they would fit me in, but if I hadn’t heard from them by 9 to call them. I was bummed, but also knew that I didn’t have any control over it. We went home to watch a movie, but the phone rang at 7:30 and they called to let me know that I could come in!!
We checked in and got “comfortable” in our room. My nurse started the first round of cytotec (teeny tiny pill) at 9pm and I was 1cm and my cervix was pretty far back. A friend brought pinkberry for us and I didn’t even ask the nurse if I could have it, I just dug in. Turns out I wasn’t supposed to be eating, but she looked the other way and let me enjoy it. They gave me morphine to help me sleep, which was nice because the L&D beds are not for sleeping. I got another dose of cytotec at 1am, and I was still 1cm and far back, then another at 5am, still 1cm. At this point I was pretty discouraged and felt like I made a horrible decision to be induced and that my body just wasn’t ready for it. I went back to sleep and at 7:30 the nurse came in and told me to eat breakfast and take a shower and then my doctor would be there for the day. My doc came in and was super excited and chipper, the exact opposite of how I was feeling. She checked me again and I was 2-3cm and my bag of water was bulging. She had me finish eating and shower and said she’d be back to break my water. At 9:30 she came back, quickly broke my water and I got up to start walking. We made it down the hall okay, but about 15 minutes later the contractions were so bad I could barely breathe and we turned around to come back to the room. By the time we got back to the room I couldn’t even breathe through them and I felt like I was dying. I tried bouncing on the ball and it didn’t help. I got in the tub and it didn’t help either so I told the nurse I was ready for my epidural. She hooked me up to IV fluids and took her sweet time calling anesthesiology. I was on my back in the tub and was losing it. My contractions were so painful and close together that I couldn’t even remember how to breathe, my head totally was gone. I kept asking Jamie where the anesthesiologist was because it was taking so long. We finally got me out of the tub and into the bed and I was a mess. I was wet and hot and thrashing around the bed like a possessed woman. I have never felt such pain, it was so horrible. The only comfortable position was curled on my side and my nurse wanted me on my back to monitor the baby. I’m pretty sure that the words that came out of my mouth weren’t nice.
At 12pm anesthesiology finally got there and got my epi in. I was MUCH happier. I think I told the doctor that I love him J They checked me again and I was 5cm. The doc left and I promptly fell asleep. I dozed on off for a while and we got kind of bored so we decided to start a movie. The nurse came in at 1:30 and decided to check me again – I was 10cm! It only took me 1.5 hours to go from 5-10!
I started pushing a little after 2, my doctor came around 2:30 and things got more serious. It was kind of surreal. With Emma’s birth there were so many people in the delivery room and people walking in and out – it wasn’t peaceful at all. With Quinn there were only ever 2-4 people (besides myself) in there and everyone was focused on me, it was quiet and really lovely. Everyone kept commenting on how much hair the baby had and between contractions my nurse and doctor were playing with it, it was kind of funny.
After about an hour of pushing and her not getting past my pelvic bone I was once again very frustrated and kept asking at what point do they decide I can’t do it and a c/s is in order. My nurse told me that she was in my pelvic cavity and was coming out vaginally regardless, so I better just get her out.I think enough of my epi finally wore off and pushing clicked and we made some progress. She came past my pelvic bone and her head came out. At this point my urge to push was lasting between contractions so I kept pushing even though my body wasn’t contracting. My doctor was wearing reflective glasses and I was actually able to see most of the delivery reflected back at me. I continued to push and my doctor asked me to stop. I waited a second and she told me to laugh really hard – I did, and out Quinn came – I “laughed” my baby out. She went right onto my chest , it was amazing. Everyone was crying and I was laughing too and it was the best feeling I could possibly imagine. So different than Emma’s birth and everything I could have hoped for and more.
When she came out everyone commented on how big she was – my doctor guessed 8+ pounds, but she weighed in at 6lbs 15oz. I only tore a tiny bit, which was great.Jamie did an awesome job and was right there in the thick of it. He kept looking at her being born and kind of freaking out, but would never stop looking. It was so peaceful and perfect and I really couldn’t have asked for a better delivery. My doctor, nurse and Jamie really went above and beyond to make sure that it was happy and positive and I’m really thankful for that J
It's like I blinked my eyes and a month passed. Holy cow, having 2 kids is a lot of work!
The girls are doing great. Quinn grows every day and it's bittersweet to watch. Emma is a marvelous big sister, she's a natural! Every time Quinn cries, Emma offers her a pacifier or sings to her - "don't worry, sister is right here..." and calms her right down. The sleep isn't great, but we're definitely enjoying life as a family of 4.