The S Family Adventures

baking bread

2011-12-01T20:41:00.002-07:00

Not to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT! I made this bread. Yep, baked it entirely from scratch (well I didn't mill my own flour). Isn't it gorgeous? You want to know what is even better? It was so easy. Seriously the easiest bread I've ever made.

I'm pretty sure I'm the last person in the world to discover this recipe, but I'm going to share it anyway. It's the NY Times No Knead Bread and it's pretty no fail.

Basically you mix:

3 cups of flour

1/3 tsp active yeast (recipe calls for 1/4 tsp instant yeast)

1 1/4 tsp salt

Then you stir in

1 5/8 cup water

and mix it all up and pop it in a bowl. The recipe says to let it rise for 18+ hours, but I started it super late and only let it rise for 4 (stuff does rise faster at a high altitude). When it gets all bubbly you know it's risen enough. Then you dust it with more flour, fold it like an envelope and pop it in a bowl to rise some more (I let it rise an hour). Preheat your oven AND your pan and then I baked it at 450 degrees for 30 minutes, then take the lid off and bake until it's nice and brown.

The key is baking it in a closed container. I used my le creuset - you want to make sure that whatever you use has a lid and can stand up to the high heat.

Voila! It was seriously the easiest thing I've ever baked and it tasted amazing!!

Baby Puppets

2011-11-25T18:52:00.001-07:00

When men play with babies

YouTube Video

Prematurity Awareness

2011-11-17T00:36:00.001-07:00

Today more than 1,400 babies in the United States (1 in 8) will be born prematurely. Many will be too small and too sick to go home. Instead, they face weeks or even months in the newborn intensive care unit (NICU). These babies face an increased risk of serious medical complications and death; however, most, eventually, will go home.

But what does the future hold for these babies? Many survivors grow up healthy; others aren't so lucky. Even the best of care cannot always spare a premature baby from lasting disabilities such as cerebral palsy; mental retardation and learning problems; chronic lung disease; and vision and hearing problems. Half of all neurological disabilities in children are related to premature birth.

Although doctors have made tremendous advances in caring for babies born too small and too soon, we need to find out how to prevent preterm birth from happening in the first place. Despite decades of research, scientists have not yet developed effective ways to help prevent premature delivery.

In fact, the rate of premature birth increased by more than 20 percent between 1990 and 2006. This trend and the dynamics underlying it underscore the critical importance and timeliness of the March of Dimes Prematurity Campaign. The rate fell to 12.3 percent in 2008 from 12.7 in 2007, a small but statistically significant decrease.

We were one of the lucky ones. Our baby came home and has thrived despite her early and tumultuous beginning. Every day I'm reminded of the fear of having a high risk pregnancy and a baby born too soon. Even looking at my full-term miracle reminds me of how hard Emma fought and how lucky we are to have her.

3 months!

2011-11-06T19:22:00.001-07:00

Quinn is a quarter year old today!

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T21:28:00.001-06:00

I didn't get a single picture of the girls together :(

3.5

2011-10-28T20:29:00.003-06:00

Three has been a hard year, three and a half is REALLY hard. Our girl is full of sass and a whole lotta attitude. It snowed this week, we knew it was coming and Emma asked if she could stay up until it snowed. I told her no since I didn't know when it was going to actually start snowing. So instead of waiting up, she woke up early and sneaked out of the house with only a tank top, leggings and boots on. (random note... I keep using the word "snuck," which spell check tells me isn't really a word, but "sneaked" is, so that's why I'm using it) SHE SNEAKED OUT OF THE HOUSE!!! Thank goodness she went out the back door so none of the neighbors saw her and called the police. She then came upstairs and told me what she did.

I may not survive her teen years.

and if this picture is any indication her father won't survive her teen years either

Sisterly love

2011-10-27T20:07:00.001-06:00

In case you can't hear it, she says "I'm so happy that you're here. Mom wouldn't have had a baby without you."

YouTube Video

Fall

2011-10-16T16:17:00.003-06:00

We've been enjoying the gorgeous fall weather in Colorado and trying to pack as much fun into my last few weeks of maternity leave.

I'm interested to see how different the girls will be when they're older - right now they seem worlds apart, but I also know that a lot of that difference is their ages.

This one is pure sass. You never know if you're going to get a smile

or a glare

she rolls her eyes a lot, she might have learned that from me

but she's as fun as they come

and an awesome big sister!

This one is exploding with smiles

she's sweet and calm

she loves to just take it all in.

She also has some scrumptious cheeks - I spend a lot of time nibbling on them!

Sisters

2011-09-29T08:56:00.001-06:00

This morning Quinn was smiling at Emma and I commented to her how much Quinn loved her big sister. Emma replied "I know, that's why you went to the hospital to have her, so we could love each other!"
Yes it is :)

Smile

2011-09-26T17:20:00.001-06:00

I finally managed to catch Quinn's smile on camera!

birth story

2011-09-14T20:48:00.002-06:00

In case anyone is interested in the details of how it all went down. A small note - I went into this with basically no "birth plan." My only goals were to have a healthy baby with Jamie in attendance. I didn't know if I wanted drugs or not, there wasn't special music I wanted played. I had no "wants" other than to just have a baby and not only did the experience meet my expectations, it greatly surpassed them. It went as well as I ever could have hoped and I truly loved my delivery.

We were told to call the hospital at 6:30pm on Friday night to be told when we could be admitted. When I called the nurse told me that I was 3^rd of 3 inductions and they were pretty busy and didn’t know when they would fit me in, but if I hadn’t heard from them by 9 to call them. I was bummed, but also knew that I didn’t have any control over it. We went home to watch a movie, but the phone rang at 7:30 and they called to let me know that I could come in!!

We checked in and got “comfortable” in our room. My nurse started the first round of cytotec (teeny tiny pill) at 9pm and I was 1cm and my cervix was pretty far back. A friend brought pinkberry for us and I didn’t even ask the nurse if I could have it, I just dug in. Turns out I wasn’t supposed to be eating, but she looked the other way and let me enjoy it. They gave me morphine to help me sleep, which was nice because the L&D beds are not for sleeping. I got another dose of cytotec at 1am, and I was still 1cm and far back, then another at 5am, still 1cm. At this point I was pretty discouraged and felt like I made a horrible decision to be induced and that my body just wasn’t ready for it. I went back to sleep and at 7:30 the nurse came in and told me to eat breakfast and take a shower and then my doctor would be there for the day. My doc came in and was super excited and chipper, the exact opposite of how I was feeling. She checked me again and I was 2-3cm and my bag of water was bulging. She had me finish eating and shower and said she’d be back to break my water. At 9:30 she came back, quickly broke my water and I got up to start walking. We made it down the hall okay, but about 15 minutes later the contractions were so bad I could barely breathe and we turned around to come back to the room. By the time we got back to the room I couldn’t even breathe through them and I felt like I was dying. I tried bouncing on the ball and it didn’t help. I got in the tub and it didn’t help either so I told the nurse I was ready for my epidural. She hooked me up to IV fluids and took her sweet time calling anesthesiology. I was on my back in the tub and was losing it. My contractions were so painful and close together that I couldn’t even remember how to breathe, my head totally was gone. I kept asking Jamie where the anesthesiologist was because it was taking so long. We finally got me out of the tub and into the bed and I was a mess. I was wet and hot and thrashing around the bed like a possessed woman. I have never felt such pain, it was so horrible. The only comfortable position was curled on my side and my nurse wanted me on my back to monitor the baby. I’m pretty sure that the words that came out of my mouth weren’t nice.

At 12pm anesthesiology finally got there and got my epi in. I was MUCH happier. I think I told the doctor that I love him J They checked me again and I was 5cm. The doc left and I promptly fell asleep. I dozed on off for a while and we got kind of bored so we decided to start a movie. The nurse came in at 1:30 and decided to check me again – I was 10cm! It only took me 1.5 hours to go from 5-10!

I started pushing a little after 2, my doctor came around 2:30 and things got more serious. It was kind of surreal. With Emma’s birth there were so many people in the delivery room and people walking in and out – it wasn’t peaceful at all. With Quinn there were only ever 2-4 people (besides myself) in there and everyone was focused on me, it was quiet and really lovely. Everyone kept commenting on how much hair the baby had and between contractions my nurse and doctor were playing with it, it was kind of funny.

After about an hour of pushing and her not getting past my pelvic bone I was once again very frustrated and kept asking at what point do they decide I can’t do it and a c/s is in order. My nurse told me that she was in my pelvic cavity and was coming out vaginally regardless, so I better just get her out. I think enough of my epi finally wore off and pushing clicked and we made some progress. She came past my pelvic bone and her head came out. At this point my urge to push was lasting between contractions so I kept pushing even though my body wasn’t contracting. My doctor was wearing reflective glasses and I was actually able to see most of the delivery reflected back at me. I continued to push and my doctor asked me to stop. I waited a second and she told me to laugh really hard – I did, and out Quinn came – I “laughed” my baby out. She went right onto my chest , it was amazing. Everyone was crying and I was laughing too and it was the best feeling I could possibly imagine. So different than Emma’s birth and everything I could have hoped for and more.

When she came out everyone commented on how big she was – my doctor guessed 8+ pounds, but she weighed in at 6lbs 15oz. I only tore a tiny bit, which was great. Jamie did an awesome job and was right there in the thick of it. He kept looking at her being born and kind of freaking out, but would never stop looking. It was so peaceful and perfect and I really couldn’t have asked for a better delivery. My doctor, nurse and Jamie really went above and beyond to make sure that it was happy and positive and I’m really thankful for that J

whoosh!

2011-09-12T20:41:00.004-06:00

It's like I blinked my eyes and a month passed. Holy cow, having 2 kids is a lot of work!

The girls are doing great. Quinn grows every day and it's bittersweet to watch. Emma is a marvelous big sister, she's a natural! Every time Quinn cries, Emma offers her a pacifier or sings to her - "don't worry, sister is right here..." and calms her right down. The sleep isn't great, but we're definitely enjoying life as a family of 4.

More Pics

2011-08-07T21:43:00.002-06:00

Emma would like to introduce...

2011-08-07T09:56:00.001-06:00

Her sister Quinn Katherine. She joined us yesterday, August 6, 2011, at 3:25pm. She weighs 6lbs 15oz and is 19.75 inches tall.

That's my daughter

2011-07-31T19:16:00.002-06:00

Daughter - Loudon Wainwright III

Everything she sees
she says she wants.
Everything she wants
I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water
everything she owns I bought her
Everything she owns.
That's my daughter in the water,
everything she knows I taught her.
Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.
Everything she takes
she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water
every time she fell I caught her.
Every time she fell.
That's my daughter in the water,
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
I lost every time I fought her.
Yea, I lost every time.

Every time she blinks
she strikes somebody blind.
Everything she thinks
blows her tiny mind.
That's my daughter in the water,
who'd have ever thought her?
Who'd have ever thought?
That's my daughter in the water,
I lost everytime I fought her
Yea, I lost every time.

Jamie and I have been singing this song a lot lately - it definitely rings true at our house. It's amazing to me that in just a short while we'll have TWO daughters. As the end draws near it's becoming so real. I alternate between being so excited to meet our new little girl and having an absolute freak out at the thought of having a newborn. I am ready for her to join our family and to start working toward our new version of normal, but at the same time I worry as well. I worry about Emma and how she'll handle this. Thinking about her losing her only child status makes me cry - I know she's going to be an amazing big sister, but I know that it's a big change and I worry about her. I worry that I have no idea what to do with a newborn - Emma came home on a schedule and even though she had many newborn tendencies, it wasn't the same. There was no constant feeding, no umbilical cord cleaning, no changing diapers 40 times a day, no physical recovery for me while trying to care for a baby. It scares me.

But I'm so excited to have a new addition to our family one - a tiny, scrunchy, soft little one. I'm excited to have my body back - to be able to sleep on my stomach and get out of bed without grunting, to be able to wear shoes again. To say I'm uncomfortable is an understatement, but the end is in sight and I'm both embracing it and have my heels in the sand trying to stop it from happening.

Hoarders

2011-07-20T19:57:00.001-06:00

Emma could most definitely be classified as a hoarder - she just collect things as she goes and refuses to get rid of them.
Tonight I took a picture of her in bed - this is actually pretty light compared to some nights. There are no boxes or larger toys or measuring sticks. Just animals and blankets mostly.

This is what full term looks like!

2011-07-18T07:09:00.001-06:00

I'M FULL TERM!!!!

I woke up this morning with a giant smile on my face and then promptly burst into tears. I feel so lucky to have made it this far, and I know that it is luck, not anything I did differently this time around.
At my appointment last week the girl was estimated to weigh 6lbs 2oz - over twice what Emma weighed and almost a pound more than she weighed when she came home from the hospital at 37 weeks. I had been feeling pretty good, but I overdid it yesterday and am paying for it today, but it's my own fault.
Can't believe we'll be meeting our baby girl in the next 3 weeks!!

Can't keep up

2011-07-14T20:08:00.004-06:00

You'd think that with all the sitting around on my bum I do that I'd be able to blog, but darn it's hard!

I'm quickly approaching full-term, which is beyond awesome. I feel pretty good today (it varies), though my head is spinning when I think that baby girl will be here with us in less than a month!

Jamie took Emma camping a couple weeks ago (no, I did not go - I don't love to sleep on the ground and I certainly wasn't going to do it while very pregnant), and captured some great moments.

Prayers

2011-06-28T07:01:00.001-06:00

A friend I know from my online preemie community lost her son last night.

Sam's Story

Sam was an amazing little boy and an inspiration to everyone who knew his story. If you could keep his parents and brother in your thoughts right now I would truly appreciate it, no one should feel the pain the are experiencing right now.

discomfort

2011-06-26T20:56:00.004-06:00

How uncomfortable I feel is still difficult for me to talk about "out loud." I obviously brought this on myself and am very happy to be pregnant, especially this pregnant, that I do feel bad complaining when I know that the flip side is that I'm not pregnant right now. But I'm pretty uncomfortable.

I'd been told many times that the last 6 weeks suck and then the last 3 weeks suck even more, and I am definitely starting to feel it (6 weeks left tomorrow!!). It's HOT here. Tonight at 7pm it was still 90* and that is just too hot. This morning we hit the farmers' market at 9am to "beat the heat", and by 9:45 I was wiped. And I know it's just going to get worse. My body hurts in places that I didn't really know existed. Baby girl has decided that she loves to shove her hand in the crease between my leg and stomach, even though there isn't really room for it there and when I'm sitting that hurts. Her movements are definitely different now, it's so weird to watch her move around in there, because we can see a lot of it. My stomach is off to the side, almost under my arm and when it growls, that is really weird. Also it can only hold about an english muffin before I'm too full and food starts to come back up. My back is killing me, my feet are swelling and did I mention how hot it is?

Don't get me wrong, I am very VERY glad to still be pregnant and I will take whatever discomfort is thrown my way because I know what the alternative is, but I guess I didn't really expect to feel this way. I don't think I ever truly believed that I would still be pregnant at this point and when people talked to me about how uncomfortable things were at the end I blew them off because they were "lucky" to still be pregnant and I didn't want to hear them complain. And now it's my turn to b!tch about the end and it feels pretty good :)

And a small video of Emma telling the baby a story :)

32 weeks!!

2011-06-13T10:37:00.001-06:00

Less than 2 months to go! For some reason 32 weeks seems very pregnant to me. I’m not sure if it’s because it was our next milestone with Emma, that obviously never was met, or if there is another reason, but 32 weeks is the real deal!
I’m feeling pretty good, sleep has become an issue because my hip and shoulder start hurting after laying on them for about 30 seconds, but there isn’t really another way to lay so I guess the pain will stick around for a while. Baby girl is definitely calmer than Emma so far, which is kind of nice and I hope continues, she moves but nothing like Emma did. Jamie and I were able to feel her heartbeat through my skin the other night which was so weird and awesome and she has the hiccups pretty frequently these days (Emma did too around that age). My appointment and ultrasound isn’t until Thursday this week, so hopefully I’ll have pictures of her to share then.
And since I haven’t shared an Emma story in a while -
Last night at the dinner table I was showing Jamie where I thought various parts of the baby were positioned. Emma asked some questions about it and so I was telling her a story about how she used to push her butt up against my belly button and wiggle it around. Then she proceeds to tell me that she used to cry in my belly because she didn't like it in there and wanted out so the reason she was wiggling her butt around was because she was trying to push her way out of my stomach so she could be free.
Jamie and I were SHOCKED! While we are very honest with her about her rocky start, we've never really made mention of her coming early (we mainly just discuss the NICU like it's a normal thing all kids need at this point) and I've never told her that mommy's body wasn't a good place for her so she had no choice but to come early (I firmly believe she realized my body was failing her and "kicked" her way out before she was in distress).
It was just so crazy to hear her verbalize things that I've thought but have never discussed with her.

30 weeks!!

2011-05-31T19:39:00.003-06:00

This weekend was a huge milestone for me, I'm officially more pregnant than I've ever been! It was pretty emotional, I kept thinking back to what I was doing at each time of the day when Emma was born, but it feels so good to be past it. It was such a mental block for me and I really have noticed a change in my outlook since passing it.

I actually feel really good. I've been uncomfortable the last month, but I think it just took me a while to get used to the extra weight and my new center of gravity - it's different this time around since I'm standing up :) I mean I'm not running any marathons, and I definitely have aches and pains (oh my back!), but I'm getting used to it I think.

I still have a long way to go until the next milestone (7 weeks to full-term!), but I'm thankful for each and every day I'm still pregnant. And I'm beginning to feel like full-term is very realistic, not a pipe dream :) I don't know, it's just different now I guess and it feels pretty nice.

My belly is BIG, but I'll take it :)

28 weeks!!

2011-05-16T00:36:00.001-06:00

I'm 28 weeks and still standing! I had some pain and cramping on Friday which earned me yet another trip to labor and delivery. I deliberately called before the office closed thinking I could just go in and get checked out, but my doctor wasn't there and they spoke to the midwife who was on call both times I abrupted and she suggested I head to L&D. I think I scare her a little bit. But baby was good, I wasn't having contractions and my cervix is still long and closed. I appreciate that they are cautious with me, I just wish it didn't involve the hospital every time. Their "official" response was "well, this is about as pregnant as you've ever been, so this could be how your body reacts." The next couple months should be a joy then.

Other than that I'm feeling okay. It definitely takes some time to get used to carrying around this bowling bowl in front. I can tell my body isn't loving the changes so much, my back is killing me, but I know it's better than the alternative. I'm VERY happy to still be pregnant and standing, it just huts a bit.

I feel huge, so I pulled up a picture from the same gestation with Emma to see how I was comparing and yeah, I'm quite a bit bigger!

27w with Emma on the left, #2 on the right. #2 also feels a lot lower, but you can't really tell that from the photos.

giant belly!

Emma having some fun with her sister - she's ready for her to come out and play, but we've explained she can't come out until summer is almost over. I also don't think she completely understands that baby sister won't be playing much when she's born.

Sisters

2011-05-10T16:52:00.001-06:00

If we're sitting on the couch Emma will pull my shirt up and say "I want my baby sister."
This is how they cuddle

Baby sister goes crazy when her sister is nearby, she kicks for her much more than she will for anyone else. It's sweet how much they love each other already :)

Still Standing!

2011-04-25T20:10:00.003-06:00

I made it to my very first 24w appt today - something I never accomplished with Emma. It's so crazy to think at this point I had already been in the hospital over a week with her.

My ultrasound was good, I had actually just had one 6 days ago, so there wasn't a lot to find out. Baby look good (and is definitely a girl!), she's measuring a little small but still within normal tolerances, cervix is looking great and my placenta is a little low, but again not hugely concerning. Basically they'll just keep watching me. I've officially gained more than I did while pregnant with Emma, which stings a little, but I'll just worry about that later. I haven't gained a ton, I'm right on track, it's probably due to the fact that I lost all my muscle on bed rest with Emma. So I'm holding steady :)

Easter was crazy - I've never seen Emma that high on sugar before. She was wonderfully behaved and charming at the egg hunt we went to, she just had SO much energy. It's actually not surprising that she doesn't gain weight, she is such a busy body. It wouldn't be terrible if her baby sister was just a tad more chill than she was

24 weeks

2011-04-18T11:28:00.000-06:00

I had hoped to be able to write about my goal of making it to 24w without being admitted to the hospital, but it seems like the universe had other plans for me.
Saturday afternoon I noticed a tiny bit of spotting – I haven’t bled at all this pregnancy (unlike with Emma, where I bled the whole time) and seeing even a tiny drop of blood was enough to freak me out. I called the on-call doc and they wanted me to head to the hospital, so I quickly woke Emma up (Jamie was out of town) and took her to a friend’s house so she could be picked up by my parents.
Walking into the hospital was pretty bad – the timing of being there again exactly one day gestationally before I’d been admitted with Emma was unreal. I think I freaked the emergency room people out a little bit because I was having flashbacks of last time. I insisted on walking upstairs myself instead of being in a wheel chair, because being wheeled down the hall to the antipartum floor is still one of the worst memories in my mind. The hallway has all these gorgeous pictures of happy, fat babies and I remember thinking “I’m not supposed to be here yet, it’s not my time” and even though walking down it again was horrible, I didn’t want the same experience.
They quickly got me a bed and put baby girl on the monitor, she was happy as a clam. I had an ultrasound and pelvic exam and my placenta, uterus and cervix all looked good, but there is a spot of “irritability” on my cervix which is where they think the bleeding is coming from. It’s VERY normal in pregnancy (there is a lot of extra blood down there) and it’s not an active bleed like I had with Emma, they think it’s no big deal. My doctor (not my normal doctor, but my other favorite who was the one who discovered I was in labor with Emma) was nice enough to offer up the steroid shots to help mature the babies lungs. They do NOT think I’m in danger of delivering, but there is no harm in getting them and it made everyone feel more comfortable (it’s just an added bonus to know if something does go wrong, we already have that taken care of). They kept me overnight on Saturday night for observation and I got to go home Sunday evening after my second shot.
I’m not on bed rest, they want me to take it easy and I’m on pelvic rest and can’t fly. I have a follow up ultrasound with the high-risk group that saw me when I was in the hospital with Emma tomorrow, just to have a second set of eyes look me over and then my next OB appt is next Monday.
It was really a weird experience to be back there. I recognized everyone and they all remembered me – even some of the NICU nurses came over after they saw my name on the board. It was bittersweet – I obviously didn’t want to be there, but I did love seeing friendly faces.
I’m having a little harder time dealing today, I just feel sad. I wrote this post a couple weeks ago and I kind of feel foolish. I know there is nothing wrong with feeling positive, but I feel like I let my guard down and kind of was blindsided. It’s hard to explain unless you’ve been there – I thought I would be guarded the whole time and I was just starting to feel like maybe everything would go smoothly for me and then WHAM! I know this isn’t a big deal, but it was just enough to remind me that things do happen and I seem to be someone that they happen to. It also makes me worry about Emma because I don’t really know how she’s coping with all of this and I don’t think it’s fair that she has to. IF something were to happen, she’s the one who would be most affected – I can handle it, been there done that (as much as I don’t want to), but she’s just 3 and I hate that she might be introduced to a situation where she’s scared about me or her sister or just doesn’t know what’s going on. I know what will happen will happen, but I’m a worrier and this is just what I do.
I’m just on edge and feeling a little lost and like I can’t really make plans because I don’t know what will happen. I feel like a lot of the joy has been taken away and I don’t want to feel that way, but I don’t know how not to expect the worst. It was a rough weekend.

And since I haven't posted a picture in a while, here you go - not the best

Dancing Queen

2011-04-12T20:25:00.004-06:00

My mom has started taking Emma to ballet class and she LOVES it. Evidently she pays attention to the teacher the entire time and is really interested in learning. Tonight she taught me some moves and actually used the correct name for them - I was blown away!!

For some reason the sound doesn't come through on this video, which makes me SO sad. She tells me that she's performing a passe and that you "open the door" to get your leg open. It's adorable and amazing all at the same time.

And since we're on the subject of dancing I'll include this one. We're in walgreens and she's just been diagnosed with walking pneumonia, but obviously she wasn't "that" sick.

Believe

2011-03-25T08:27:00.001-06:00

I had my 20w ultrasound yesterday and I’m relieved that it’s over. Even though everything has been going well I still get anxious before these appointments because I know the bottom could drop out at any moment. Luckily yesterday’s scan went well and our little girl (yes, I said girl) is happy and healthy!
This pregnancy is different than I thought it would be. I truly believed that I would be a basket case every moment of every day and that hasn’t been true. Not to say that I’m not worried and don’t think about things that could go wrong quite often, but with each day that passes I allow myself to breathe a little deeper and become a little more comfortable with this pregnancy. Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing by allowing myself to become more relaxed, obviously the more I let myself believe the good things the further I have to fall if something bad happens. In a way it’s just easier to believe that everything is going to go wrong because then when something does happen I’m not surprised. With Emma, even after things had gone wrong from the very start, I don’t think I ever truly understood what could have happened. We were lucky, I know it was only luck, and now that we’re on the other side I can understand (though never truly understand) what could have happened. Even laying in the hospital for weeks on end never did I believe that we could end up with a preemie and months spent in the NICU – it just wasn’t something I could grasp. This time I can. This time I know every possible thing that could happen to us. And it makes me more prepared. I’m not naïve like I once was, it’s hard for me to see the glass as half full, but I’m trying. I know that no matter what happens this is my last pregnancy and it is my last chance to soak in the joys and pains of being a pregnant woman. I’m doing my best to believe that this really might go right this time. That we might be one of the lucky ones that brings our baby home with us just days after she’s born. I might be able to hold her close to me immediately after her birth instead of waiting until the next day. I might know what it’s like to experience labor with my husband by my side and watch him get to experience the birth first hand instead of through pictures. I might get to wake multiple times in the night to feed a baby, not an electric machine. I might know what it’s like to cry happy tears about a birth instead of just tears of sadness and regret. I might get a fat, full-term baby.
I know that we can handle it if life decides to throw us a curveball again, but that doesn’t mean we want to.

Halfway point!!

2011-03-21T19:04:00.001-06:00

As of tomorrow I am 20 weeks, which is halfway done! A couple of you have asked for a picture to help better predict what baby Schwab might be, so here you go -

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

THREE!!!!

2011-03-14T20:44:00.004-06:00

It's hard to believe that three years have passed since we welcomed Emma into the world. She's changed so much since she was our little 2lb 12oz peanut, but she's still the spunky little girl who came into our world 10 weeks too soon.

I wish I could truly capture with words what she is really like, but her personality is far too big for that. She's sweet, sassy, loving, wild, smart, friendly, loud, kind, stubborn, imaginative and daring. She embraces the world with open arms and jumps right in to new situations. She's both the sweetest child I've ever know and one of the most stubborn. We butt heads more often these days, but much like my brother she's quick with a coy smile and a sweet tongue to try and soften the blow ;) Every day is an adventure as she learns to demand her independence and we learn which battles are worth the fight. But most of all we love her more than words can say and we're truly blessed that she's ours.

We started the day with breakfast with Nana and Bapa, had lunch with our best friends (including "chocolatte" and pink cupcakes), a trip to the park, presents and ended the night with a visit to Chuck E Cheese's. She LOVES being three (though she's not big yet and evidently won't be for 2 more weeks - according to her) and loves celebrating. It really was the perfect day!

18 weeks

2011-03-09T11:06:00.001-07:00

*insert big sigh of relief here*
I had my first abruption with Emma at 17 weeks and even though this pregnancy is very different, I feel a great sense of relief on passing that milestone.
I’ve been feeling okay, I get headaches a lot and my stomach still isn’t what it used to be, but I’m working through it. I feel huge, but I know it’s all relative. We had an ultrasound at 16w and my cervix grew again so that’s a great feeling. No word on the fibroid, but there isn’t anything they can do about it anyway so I’m trying not to stress. My next appt is the 24th and hopefully we’ll find out if Emma will have a brother or a sister.

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Hamming it up!

2011-02-27T21:07:00.003-07:00

Parenting at it's best

2011-02-21T08:22:00.001-07:00

Last night we had some friend over for dinner, their oldest is a year older than Emma and they play VERY well together. The spent the entire night upstairs playing "pretend" and we remarked multiple times how wonderful it was to not worry about them.
Then we discovered this

Yep, that's Emma with bag balm (kind of like mentholated Vaseline) ALL over. I mean all over. We can't really figure out the "why" of the equation, but they thought it was lotion (it kind of is) and they were really proud of how well they shared it.
That's life I suppose. I haven't laughed that hard in very long time.
This was Emma's hair this morning after multiple washes with dish soap. No, her hair is not wet, it's all grease.

3 years in a row

2011-02-15T19:58:00.004-07:00

Emma has worn the same skirt three valentine's days in a row. I guess the silver lining to having a tiny child is that she gets good use out of her clothes. The skirt is size 3-6 months and still isn't even tight on her.

2009

2010

2011

14 weeks!

2011-02-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

Second trimester!!
I hit 14 weeks yesterday and it's great to be out of the first trimester. I wouldn't say I'm breathing any easier, but I'm hoping that I'll start feeling better soon.
Baby is approximately the size of a lemon - 3.5" long and weighs about 1.5oz.
I'm still not feeling great. Anything slightly sweet makes me feel so awful and yet I keep trying in hopes that one day soon I'll be over it. I can't sleep at all and am so exhausted, I would give anything for a solid night of sleep where I didn't have to wake up 4-5 times to pee (I don't even get this, it's not like the baby is interfering with my bladder, it's the size of a lemon!). I definitely feel quite big, I posted a picture below of me at almost the same point with Emma and I guess I’m not “that” much bigger, I’m just carrying a lot higher (which again makes so sense because the baby is WAY below my belly button).
I started feeling little movements around 12.5 weeks and just last night I could actually feel kicks. It’s pretty crazy to be feeling things so early, but I think this baby knows that I need to feel that to relax a little. My next ultrasound is in 2 weeks and we’re hoping to catch a glimpse of whether the baby is a boy or a girl, I’m really excited!

Pardon the look on my face, I was concentrating.

Comparison to my pregnancy with Emma

Overheard

2011-02-04T17:49:00.000-07:00

• Daddy has sparkles on his face. (referring to his stubble)

• I love you, but I don't. I do love your hair.

• The other day we were flipping through the channels and came across a basketball game and Emma told me that was for daddy to watch. We kept flipping and came across an exercise infomercial with a shirtless man and she said "mommy, you need to watch that!" If you insist my dear :)

• her thumb is really chapped from the weather and all the sucking, and she was telling me that it hurt. So I suggested that maybe she try to suck it less. She looked at me and said "nah, I'll just suck the other one" and stuck it in her mouth.

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13 weeks!!

2011-02-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

I'm slowly making my way out of the first trimester. I had an ultrasound yesterday and my cervix is long and closed, it's actually grown from it's last measurement at 9 weeks, which is a huge relief. My ultrasound tech even commented on the huge sigh of relief I let out after she said that :)
The not so great news is that one of my fibroids is in the general location they think my placenta will attach (they don't know for sure until 16-17 weeks). There isn't really anything we can do about it except hope it doesn't create an issue. For those that don't know, they "think" that my placenta either attached or grew into a fibroid when I was pregnant with Emma and that created some of my problems. So, once again we're playing the "wait and see game".
Baby looked great and is measuring right on track! S/he never stopped moving (and I actually started feeling movement last week!) and we did a lot of chasing, but managed to get some awesome pictures!
My favorite:

S/he is already a thumbsucker like their sister :)

The details

2011-01-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

I’m 12w today – due date is 8/9/11.

I’m not bleeding like I did with Emma, but there might be some complications. They’re keeping a close eye on me and we’re currently playing the “wait and see” game.

Emma is over the moon. She’ll tell anyone who asks about the baby in my belly and how it has to grow up to be big before it can come out. She’s pretty convinced it’s a girl, but I also think that in her mind every baby is a girl.

My brother and sister-in-law are expecting their first in June and I think my parents’ heads are going to burst with the thought of THREE grandbabies next year!
I have to say it’s much different being pregnant this time around. It’s wonderful to not bleed every day, but at the same time I can’t stop worrying. When I was pregnant with Emma I didn’t really understand all the different things that “could” happen, but now, thanks to a wonderful online preemie support circle, I know a million different things that could happen between now and August. I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m a worrier, and it’s hard not to think about those things. Before we made the decision to have a second child we made sure that we were both okay with another long stint of bed rest and a preemie again, and we are – it’s just different when you it’s a possibility instead of being blindsided by it (in both good and bad ways). We’re obviously hoping and praying for a VERY long pregnancy and my goal is to be huge and uncomfortable this summer J
I’m very lucky that I have an amazing doctor and that she’s watching me closely. She understands why I feel the way I do and was the one to suggest extra monitoring before I even had to ask. It’s nice to not feel so crazy when I see her.
Also, I feel huge. I know I have a LONG way to go, but I’m a lot bigger than I was last time. My body seemed to just give into pregnancy this time. I pee all night long, which I don’t remember starting this early. I’ve also been more sick, the toothbrush is not my friend, but I might be rounding a corner. I've also been exhausted and poor Emma is watching way more tv than normal (which she loves).
But, we're beyond thrilled and definitely have high hopes for this pregnancy (that's a whole different post)!

11w6d. Sorry you can't see my face, I wasn't feeling it last night ;)

Coming soon...

2011-01-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

Baby Schwaberow the sequel - est 8/9/11.
More details to come :)

Happy Holidays!

2011-01-02T15:00:00.005-07:00

We've had a whirlwind couple of weeks and when I have a little more time I'll share more :) For right now I leave with you a couple pictures from our celebrations!

Helping Grandpa open presents

Dress-up with her cousins Jack and Dorothy

Princesses

Santa

Jack, Dorothy, Madi and Emma with Santa

Cousin story time

Blogging for Preemies

2010-11-16T19:13:00.004-07:00

Every year, more than half a million babies are born prematurely in the United States. The rate of premature birth has risen by 30 percent since 1981.

Premature birth is the leading cause of newborn death worldwide. Even babies born just a few weeks too soon can face serious health challenges and are at risk of lifelong disabilities. Premature birth costs society more than $26 billion a year.

We were one of the lucky families. Despite abrupting at 23.5w (and 17w before that) I was able to stay pregnant for 6 more weeks and give Emma a chance as survival. Had she been born the day I was admitted to the hospital she would have had a less than 30% chance of survival. Those 6 weeks gave her a chance and we owe her life to the March of Dimes and all that they've done for prematurity. The research and technologies that they have funded, along with the amazing doctors and nurses are why we have a spunky two and a half year old. There are many things I could say about our journey and how the decision to have a second child has brought so much of it back, but today I want to dwell on the positive.

Emma was born at 29w, weighing 2lbs 12oz and 15.5" tall

Now she's 2.5 years old and full of life. Like I said, we were lucky :)

Boo!

2010-11-04T14:36:00.001-06:00

Some belated Halloween pics

Henry, William and Emma

Ivory and Jamie

A full length shot of "Ivory". This costume was awesome!

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Multi-tasker

2010-10-07T08:58:00.001-06:00

Texting, working on her 'puter and choosing paint colors. All from her throne :)

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Goodbye Adenoids

2010-09-26T19:38:00.000-06:00

Emma had her adenoids removed this week. Needless to say I was a bit nervous about her going under anesthesia, but it ended up being a piece of cake.

A little pre-op coloring

She charmed the pants off all the doctors and nurses.

When she went back to the operating room she was SO brave. She laid down on the table, stuck the strawberry mask on her face, held my hands and drifted off to sleep. An hour later she was up and eating popsicles.

We came home and she rested for a little while before she was up and running around again.

I was worried about her being traumatized, but last night she asked to go back to the hospital for surgery again so I guess she's okay ;) I can also tell a huge difference in her breathing and we're hoping it helps with her eating and endless sinus infections :)
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Two and a half

2010-09-23T21:03:00.001-06:00

Last year Jamie took these photos, and last week he took the photos below. When I went back through the blog it turned out they were taken almost a year ago. It's amazing how much she's changed.

2.5 brings both challenges and joy - she is nothing if not willful (so my child). She speaks her mind (her latest favorite phrase is "walk away son", yeah I have no idea where she learned that), she's bossy and particular. But she is also smart as a whip and funny as all heck. She loves to run and pretend and she never stops talking. She constantly asks "why? why mom? why?" and it's definitely a test of my patience (and knowledge) trying to answer her. She's happy and beautiful and she amazes me every day.

Bapa and Nana

2010-09-19T20:31:00.003-06:00

My parents came down a couple weekends ago to participate in Emma's soccer practice and play at the park with us. To say that Emma loves my parents is an understatement. I'm not sure there is a word to express her feelings for them, love isn't adequate. It obviously goes both ways and I love that they have such an awesome relationship. I wasn't lucky enough to be raised in close proximity to my grandparents and I appreciate that Emma has such a special relationship with hers.

This might be Emma's favorite spot in the world - and yes, if Nana is an option, she doesn't want me.

I'm a soccer mom

2010-09-06T20:22:00.004-06:00

It's hard to believe that Emma is old enough to play soccer. The funny thing is that she's been old enough for a year!! In our neighborhood they start at 18months, which is scary considering how crazy the 2.5 year old *team* is.

Emma LOVES it. The first week was difficult because there were 15 people on her team, then add in 2 parents per child and it was out of control. That is WAY too many 2 year olds for a coach to control and it was a mess. You could definitely tell which kids had been practicing in the backyard... Emma was NOT one of them.

This week was much better. They split the team in 2 and it's a much more manageable size. Emma is actually able to hear the coach and she really tries to follow along with the drills (until she gets bored and tries to run off).

Besides being fun for her, it's super cute. She actually has a uniform that fits her and she is so adorable running around the field!!

FAST!!!

Seriously, is that uniform not adorable???

suckers!!

Trying to get two 2 year olds to pose for a picture isn't easy :)

The beach

2010-08-30T19:40:00.003-06:00

Oh how I love the beach. We just got back from a week in the Outer Banks and it was fantastic! We rented a house with 4 other families (that Jamie knows from college) and spent an entire week swimming, relaxing and playing. It was amazing. It was our first vacation as a family that didn't involve work or visiting family and Emma had the time of her life. Vacation takes on a whole new meaning with kids and it was so wonderful to watch her experience these firsts. We have so many wonderful memories and Emma made many new friends and can't stop talking about "the beach house!"

Our entire group

The Schwaberow family (us + Chad and Heather)

We each cooked one night and this was our clam bake! Delicious!!!

6 of 8 of the kids

Yeah, Emma wasn't too fond of the sand on her feet at first, so this is her adorable outfit (disclaimer: I DID put a swimsuit on her but she took it off)

Emma, Sophia, Sydney, Lexi, Cole, Izzy and Tessy

Emma and her Uncle Chad (It's REALLY hard to get a *normal* pic of her anymore)

One night the boys left the house and crashed a wedding. I'm so proud.

Emma and Lexi

Daddy and Emma

Another group shot

"Wild" horse in the area just north of our town. (Supposedly they are wild, but I have my doubts)

Are you noticing a trend?

Our beach

Emma and her new friend Sophia... she LOVED playing with all the big kids!

Starting early

2010-08-06T09:53:00.000-06:00

Emma is very serious about her swimming lessons ;)

Out of the mouth of babes

2010-07-28T10:07:00.000-06:00

Some Emma-isms for you;

The other day we were pulling out of the garage and she asked where her "house and home" were going. I explained the house was staying there and told her that "home is where your heart is. Where is your heart?" Her reply - "at Bapa's house!" (Bapa is my dad)
Which is true, it's her favorite place.

This morning I was sitting on the floor getting her dressed and when she stood up she turned around, gave ms a giant hug and said "I HAPPY!"
melted my heart :)

The other day she was talking about boys and she said "my favorite boy is William."
Trouble!

Right now if you ask her what an owl does her response is "poop!" evidently she's become a little jaded after helping Nana clean the patio at their house :)

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Her father's daughter

2010-07-20T18:11:00.001-06:00

She is!

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June

2010-07-15T19:38:00.005-06:00

I know, I know... it's been a while. Things have been a little crazy around here. The good news is that I got a new job... a permanent, full-time job!! That means BENEFITS!!! So I'm pretty happy about that, but the learning curve is extremely steep (it's in gas, I'm an electrical engineer).

Emma is fantastic. I mean she's 2, so we definitely have some not so awesome moments, but overall she is just amazing. Her speech has improved by leaps and bounds. She speaks in full sentences all the time and you (and I mean people other than me) can actually understand what she's saying. She is bursting with life and personality and she really is a joy. As Jamie pointed out tonight, when she smiles she has a sparkle in her eye and we love her for it :)

Jamie's parents just left and we had a wonderful visit with them. Before that we were in Chicago for the wedding of the century... my brother Paul and my new sister Sam got married and it was ah-mazing. I mean there aren't really words for how freaking amazing it was. Hopefully I'll have some pictures soon and when I do I'll share more.

For now I'll leave you with a month's worth of pictures.

Emma put this hat on and ran around Targe.t singing her ABC's in a very loud voice

New shades

Working

Her first full ponytail

Her first frappucino (hey, we were traveling and needed a bribe ;))

Quite possibly the cutest picture ever taken. This is Em and her bestest friend William

Cheese!

More best friends :)

ETA - wow, I didn't realize that I posted pictures I'd already posted before. My mind is obviously not all there. Sorry!

Summer

2010-06-05T16:44:00.001-06:00

We've been extremely busy lately...the great weather has us outside a lot.
Here is what our day looked like today:

Emma's first ponytail

She looks so grownup!

We went to target and Emma ran around the store in this hat singing her abcs at the top of her lungs.

Then we went to the park and the older kids taught Emma about mud pies and burying dad in the sand.

Summer!!

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Sorrow

2010-05-21T12:38:00.001-06:00

Yesterday a friend of mine, and fellow preemie mom, lost her dear son Justice (http://blakeybabies.blogspot.com/). There are no words to describe the pain that my heart feels for their family.
As the parent of a preemie I've become too familiar with the loss of innocent lives, but it never gets any easier. Justice was 20 months old and has death has hit me harder than I expected. He was in Emma's "class" of preemies on a preemie board I belong to. I was lucky enough to visit Tiffany and Justice on Wednesday and my heart broke into a million pieces yesterday when I heard the news.
I wish that no parent ever had to experience the loss of their child. I wish that no one had to feel that pain.
Rest in peace dear boy.

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Blessed

2010-05-09T20:07:00.002-06:00

I have a mother

who instilled in me a love of reading
who has been here for me every step of the way
who taught me what a marriage should be
who is an amazing baker
who has a head scarf to match every outfit and a bracelet to match each cardigan
who loves my child more than I ever imagined
who has become one of my closest friends and who always knows the right thing to say

I am a mother to a little girl

who is 20lbs of personality
who walks past the toddler and little kid equipment on the playground because "it's too small, want big slide"
who spontaneously says "I love you"
who is on a constant quest to find a pink airplane
who runs faster than I knew a 2 year old could run
who wants to do whatever the grown ups are doing
who loves animals with an amazing passion
who can count to ten but usually chooses to count "one, free, nine"
whose favorite activity is writing lists
who loves to pretend that it's "seeping" time. who will cover each participant with a blanket and give them a lovey. But don't open your eyes or your head might get shoved back into the pillow. Nap time is very serious :)
who is fiercely independent, but still needs a kiss when she has an owie
who has taught me that being a mother is so much more than I ever could have imagined. That even the darkest day can be brightened with a smile and a "I lu loo!"

Update

2010-04-29T13:47:00.001-06:00

An update for those that are curious (warning this is pretty graphic, so you might not want to read it if you’re say my brother).
The surgery went pretty well. I kind of lost it emotionally when I was getting my IV. All I could think about was being admitted to the hospital when I was pregnant with Emma and getting an IV and how horrible that day was. They also put leg cuffs on and I was in a hospital gown, so it definitely felt like bed rest, which wasn’t a happy feeling. The doctors were wonderful and so supportive through the whole thing. The IV sedation was AWESOME. The anesthesiologist told me it was going to sting and I remember it stinging for about 2 second and then I woke up and it was all over. It ended up being “just” a fibroid, which is a really good thing. However I’m a little concerned since it was in the exact same place as my last fibroid that attached to my placenta, but I’ll find out more about that next week at my appt.
Unfortunately when I was in recovery the nurse pulled my catheter thinking I didn’t need it and it turned out it was attached to a balloon in my uterus to keep it from scarring. So I had to go back into surgery and be put under again so that they could re-insert it. So we were there much longer than we thought and I now have a very large attachment hanging down the inside of my leg, which is really uncomfortable.
But, I am so glad that it’s over and it went okay (and I woke up)!! Thank you for all your good thoughts, I really appreciate them.

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worry

2010-04-26T19:52:00.003-06:00

Are you the type of person whose mind goes to dark places? Or are you able to see the silver lining in everything?

I'm a worrier. I worry about big things and little things. If there isn't something to worry about, I'll find something. I'm a worrier.

I have surgery on Wednesday, it's not a huge deal, but it could help determine if I will have problems carrying another baby to term and if there was a reason for Emma's early arrival. I'm trying to focus on the positive; being one step closer to hopefully having another child, but it's hard not to focus on the things that could go wrong. Not waking up, my doctors finding something not so good, them deciding I needed a full hysterectomy without asking me (which I know would never happen, but it still freaks me out). I trust my doctor completely and she's been fully honest with me. It just scares me that I'm headed back to the hospital that Emma and I spent 3 months at. I'm scared that everything won't be okay, I'm scared that they'll unearth a huge problem.

2 more days and hopefully I can stop worrying.

Easter!

2010-04-18T09:30:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I'm a little behind right now but I wanted to share these pictures!

Ready to garden in her new boots.

Watching for bunnies (since everyone in the family wears glasses she thinks she needs glasses to see)

Let's find some eggs!

Yay!!

Family

2010-04-02T19:57:00.004-06:00

A couple weeks ago we were lucky enough to have a family ski weekend. Paul and Sam flew in and we all headed up to Copper Mtn to spend some quality time together. As much as I love spending time with my family, the best part about spending time with family is how much Emma loves it. She loves the attention and the extra people to love on her. She loves the commotion and the extra voices. The hard part is when everyone leaves and it's back to the 3 of us, but we relish the time we have :)

My dad, showing his perfect curling form

Uncle Paul reading a story

More story time with Paul and Sam

Dancing with Grandpa

Catching snowflakes with Grandma (Mom, don't hate me!)

Gardening with Grandpa!

Cake!!

2010-03-21T16:06:00.005-06:00

We had Emma's birthday party today and it was so much fun!! We had her friends over for a "play-doh" party and I set out tables of play-doh and tools to play with and I think it was a big hit (and actually not as mess as you'd think). Jamie and I did a horrible job taking photos now that I look through them, but we did manage to get a lot of pictures of her AMAZING cake. My friend Sarah made it and it was by far the most gorgeous cake I've ever seen!! I loved it and Emma did too! As soon as she laid eyes on it she was smacking her lips and asking to "eat cake". I'm the mean mommy that made her wait.

The cake and cupcakes

Waiting to sing

The surprise inside

CAKE!!!

smack, smack

Oh, so pretty!

Can you believe how awesome this cake is?

TWO!!!

2010-03-14T20:41:00.003-06:00

Then:

Now:

Dearest Emma,

Today you turned two, or as you like to say "sue". You are beyond amazing. You are smart and funny and beautiful. You LOVE animals, the colors blue and pink, reading books, blankets and lovies, and giving hugs and kisses. You're speech is taking off and you'll repeat almost any word that we say. You now say "I love you" without prompting and it makes my heart burst with joy. You're favorite thing to do is talk on the phone and have stopped letting me talk because you want to do it. You love to run, climb, slide, ride your bike and be outside. You love "pretties", having your toes painted, purses and shoes. You're a girly girl and a tomboy at the same time.

You bring so much joy to everyone who knows you and it's unbelievable how far you have come. It's amazing that 2 years ago you weighed 2lbs 12oz and now you're (finally!!) over 20lbs! You are one of the happiest children I know and it's evident how much you love life. You are the most wonderful child that I could ever imagine and I am so blessed that you are mine. I love you more than works can say!

Mama

2010-03-13T20:21:00.002-07:00

It's hard to imagine that 2 years ago I had no idea how my life was about to change. Everyone tells you that having a baby changes your life, but it's really impossible to understand until it happens. Last year I was in a hard spot on Emma's birthday, as the day brings some hard memories. I won't lie and tell you that I don't feel those same things still, that I don't lie awake at night and think about the day that she was born or wonder how things might have been different. But despite all that it becomes more evident to me every day why things happened the way they did. I would never wish our story on anyone. Having a preemie is hard and it's not the way anyone wants to experience the beginning of their child's life. However I would never change things. Being a mom of a preemie has inspired me to truly find my passion in life. It's reminded me to never take anything for granted because I know how fleeting life can be. I have met some wonderful friends because I'm a preemie parent.
Being a mother is far and away the most amazing experience. The love I have for Emma can't be explained in words. It's more than I ever thought it could be and I'm grateful every day for this experience. I'm grateful for Emma and the person she has helped me become.

Terrible might be an understatement

2010-03-11T18:59:00.001-07:00

We have entered the "terrible twos." Words can't express how much fun we're having this week. Poor Jamie is out of town and missing all the fun. I was a nanny, I thought I knew what I was in for, but this is ridiculous. I don't think I could even count the tantrums that Emma has thrown this week. She has one when she gets in the carseat and one when she gets out. One when you offer her food and one when you don't. One when you ask if she wants to talk on the phone and one when I'm talking because she didn't want to. EVERYTHING causes a tantrum and she's learned tha if she says "owie" it gets my attention. She changes from an angel to Satan in half a second and then back again just as quickly. She's a toddler version of Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde.
I am at my whit's end. I have never experienced this and am definately not equipped to handle it.
Please tell me it won't be like this all year.

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Before & After

2010-02-27T16:37:00.001-07:00

Before nap

After nap

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Dessert

2010-02-23T19:17:00.002-07:00

Emma got a special treat after dinner tonight and thoroughly enjoyed it :)

Emma was very polite while eating her cupcake

This doesn't have anything to do with her cake, but my dad taught Emma what a "grandpa says" (I love you) and it's super cute!

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Pictures

2010-02-18T19:18:00.004-07:00

I've been getting nasty comments from my followers about the lack of pictures. I'm sorry, work is crazy and I've been trying to work out at night so my computer time is a bit limited. Hopefully these pictures will do the trick :)

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Yes, this is the same skirt she wore last year. I guess that is one upside of a child who doesn't grow

Valentine's Party at school

"oh, we get cookies??"

giggles

I love to listen to her laugh

From left to right: Gracie, Emma, Gavin and Emma C.

Full Circle

2010-02-03T19:19:00.002-07:00

Today is the 2 year anniversary of me being admitted to the hospital with my abruption and being told that I was going to deliver at any moment and that are outlook wasn't positive (the story is here if you haven't read it). Today I had my first successful support group. In a word it was amazing. We had 7 families show up and the developmental therapist gave a short talk. Then we spent the rest of the time answer questions and just chatting with the parents. We gave out our gorgeous gifts and spent hours talking with a couple of the moms. It was everything I had ever dreamed it would be. It was the cumulation of everything that we've been through and the reason that we went through hell. It was awesome.

gifts

2010-02-01T19:47:00.004-07:00

My Gram has been knitting hats for our Support Group congratulation gifts and I just had to share how talented she is. I asked her to help us out if she was bored about 3 weeks ago and she's making about 1 a day!! Not only is she churning them out, but they are SOOO adorable!! Obviously I don't want to have another preemie, but if I did, I would want them to wear one of these hats!

All the hats

For size comparison, isn't it adorable??

On one of Emma's teeny dolls

The final gift

Games

2010-01-21T20:36:00.001-07:00

These are Emma's 2 favorite games right now... we play them all night long :)

Pics

2010-01-17T20:44:00.004-07:00

We've been on the go lately. Emma is such a busy little bee. She turned 22 months this week, it's hard to believe that she's going to be 2 in a couple months. She has such a huge personality and gets funnier by the day. She has a ton of new words and even though we can't understand all (most) of what she says, she loves to tell us stories. She's also become really attached to blankets and stuffed animals now... she has to have one with her all the time. She's finally starting to love to read and her imagination is taking off!

She spent last weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's house and loved every second of it :)

I'm pretty sure that I have a senior pic that looks just like this

She found Grandma's slippers

There is always a LOT of dancing at G&G's house

Sometimes even nekkid dancing

Getting bundled up to go outside

They built a snowman!

Yes, she has both a ponytail and a barrette in her hair :)

And her absolute most favorite activity at G&G's house is cooking with Grandpa :)

Support Group

2010-01-05T21:21:00.002-07:00

It's becoming apparent to me that the older I get the more important it becomes to do something worthwhile with my life. I'll be 32 tomorrow... yes, a quart... and tonight I feel like I am doing good.

Tonight was the first meeting of our support group Parents of Preemies (PoP). It went much better than I was expecting (I always expect the worst) and I almost burst into tears at numerous occasions because I'm so happy that it's actually happening. I'm so lucky to be working with a great group of parents who are offering their advice and perspective. This project means so much to me and I'm overjoyed at watching it get off the ground.

And now a request :) As part of our project we are giving new parents gift baskets to congratulate them on the birth of their child (which regardless of how scary it is, all children are still a blessing) and we're including a small gift, a journal and information for them. If you have any (new) baby blankets, outfits (preemie) or hats that you'd like to donate, we'd LOVE to take them. We haven't figured out the fundraising portion yet so we're doing this solely based on donations. Also if you knit and are looking for a project, we would love to feature your creations in our baskets.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement as I put myself out there to make this happen!

Happy New Year!

2010-01-02T22:18:00.006-07:00

I know this is a bit delayed, but we've been travelling. We had a wonderful Christmas and a very uneventful New Years. I've loved having time off and Emma has loved having both Jamie and I around all the time.

I had a blast looking through 2009's photos... what a year it's been!

In January she was just a little pudge ball

By February she'd learn to stand

In March she turned ONE!!

In April Emma visited the beach for the first time (and hated it)

In May we had basketball fever

In May she was starting to walk and once she started she never stopped!

In July, Jamie and I took a trip to Europe

August brought hot weather and days at the pool

In September we were able to visit with family

October was a time for pumpkins and friends

In November she showed us her moves

And in December we celebrated Christmas

It's hard to believe that we started out the year with a baby that didn't talk, crawl or walk and we ended the year with this grown up girl;

Ho, ho, ho!

2009-12-21T20:49:00.003-07:00

Santa stopped by Emma's school last week and Grandpa was sweet enough to accompany her and take photos. I can't say that Santa was a huge hit, but she didn't cry!

You have to eat your snacks fast or the boys will get it!

notice that she's eating the candy cane with the wrapper on

a little shy

as happy as she got :)

First Haircut!!

2009-12-16T19:14:00.004-07:00

We took Emma to get her very first (professional) haircut last night! Her hair was just scraggly and had no shape so they trimmed it up and it looks SOO much better! She actually really liked sitting in the airplane and having people tell her she looked pretty ;)

Getting ready

Not so sure

hmmmmm

We bribed her with fruity cheerios (aka fruit loop rip-offs) to keep still

she looks so grown up

I don't like it!

Oh wait, yes I do! I look just like Mommy!!

I am adorable!

I've got nothin'

2009-12-13T20:18:00.005-07:00

I went to look through my photos tonight so I could post something and I haven't even taken pictures of the girl :( Ever since school started it's been a non-stop germ fest here. I know that it's "normal" when a kid starts daycare, especially one that didn't have much of an immune system to start with, but OMG!! Can we please get a break around here?? Emma and I have both had 2 sinus infections and I thought we were over that and on the mend and then Friday night she came home and started puking her guts out. Awesome. Mama is so over it!

So I found one photo that I don't think I've shared... it was from our first sledding adventure. Emma didn't like it but she looks cute ;)

Snow bunny!! I love how she looks like a little skier!!

And if you're bored and want a great read, my friend Trish wrote a pretty awesome post about the Dugger's latest delivery. Read it here

Yeah, she's a girl

2009-12-02T18:27:00.004-07:00

So in addition to being a shoe girl, Emma also LOVES purses. Anything that has a handle becomes a purse and she generally has multiple purses on her arm.

A shoe box, book and a fur-lined purse

Just a couple purses

5 of her favorites!

and her new favorite purse... it's a dog in a purse!!

(please don't mind her crazy hair)

These boots are made for walkin'...

2009-11-23T19:32:00.002-07:00

Emma is OBSESSED with shoes. They are the first thing she mentions when she wakes up in the morning and the last thing at night. She talks about them all day long and one of her favorite games to play is to take all the shoes out of the closet and bring them to their owner. If Jamie sleeps in she'll bring him his shoes and place them on his head so he wakes up and puts them on. There is hardly a waking moment when she isn't wearing her shoes.

In fact today shoes were the subject of her very first spontaneous (not repeating us) 2 word phrase... "Emma's shoes!" (pronounced "Emme" because that is how she says her name).

OBSESSED.

Blogging for Preemies

2009-11-17T06:00:00.003-07:00

Do you know a baby that was born too soon, too small, unable to suck, unable to breathe on his own? Premature birth is a health crisis that jeopardizes the lives and health of nearly half-million babies each year. It is the #1 killer of newborns and can lead to lifelong disabilities. Worse: the number has increased 31 percent since 1981. It can happen without warning and for no known reason. Until we have more answers, anyone’s baby, could be born too soon.

Medical advances give even the tiniest babies a chance of survival, yet for many babies premature birth is still a life or death condition. It’s the #1 cause of death during the first month of life. And babies who survive face serious health challenges and risk lifelong disabilities.

The rate of premature birth has never been higher. In half the cases, we simply don’t understand what went wrong. We need to fight for answers. And, ultimately, preventions.

Today I blog for Emma and the millions of other premature babies, however instead of focusing on the unhappy side of our story (which you can find here, here and here), I am choosing to focus on the positive outcome of Emma’s birth.

Before Emma was born I didn’t know anyone who was or had a preemie and unfortunately since then I’ve had multiple friends in similar situations. Each time it happened my heart would break a little more because I knew the pain and fear that they were feeling. And yet each time it happened it also made it clear to me why we were “chosen” to take this journey.

Much like premature birth has become the March of Dimes’ fight, my fight has become support for parents of preemies. Unfortunately (or fortunately I guess), when Emma was in the NICU I didn’t know anyone who had been there before. I didn’t have someone to turn to who could tell me that my fears and guilt were normal. I didn’t have someone to talk to who really knew what I was going through and I didn’t realize it at the time, but no one should have to embark on this journey alone. I had an amazing support group of family and friends, but none of them had been in the same place as me and as wonderful as they were, it’s just not the same. My new goal is to make sure that no one has to feel alone, that there is someone to hold their hand or offer them advice and a tissue or just sit and listen to them cry.

Thursday evening marks the first meeting of the Rose NICU Support Group that I have spent months convincing the hospital that is needed. I have found other women with similar stories who also want to offer support to new preemie moms, I researched the *best* way to make this successful and I’m hoping (and trying my hardest to ensure) that the meeting is a success and that this group gets off the ground. I’m also hoping that the group at Rose is just the beginning and that soon my cause will be city (state? country?) wide.

I truly believe that Emma led us on this path so that I could discover this need that I am here to meet. It’s my hope that no one has to go through the trauma of having a premature baby, but until there is a way to guarantee that, I’m here to hold their hand along the way.

So You Think You Can Dance?

2009-11-14T21:03:00.002-07:00

Emma does too :)

The hip hop version

and the river dance

missing summer

2009-11-09T20:13:00.003-07:00

I came across these photos today and they made me miss our days at the pool. I loved this little spot on Emma's thighs, I still love it, it was just extra cute with a tan :)

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T20:49:00.005-06:00

Emma's Halloween party at school (she got up at 4am that morning and only took an hour nap, tired girl)

They had orange treats

Both were died with food coloring, don't even get me started on how messy that was

knock, knock

no one is home :(

let's go faster daddy!

candy!!

trick or treat!!

roar!!

oh wow, chocolate is yummy!!

yay!! Happy Halloween!!

We survived

2009-10-27T19:41:00.005-06:00

Our first week is under our belt and we survived :) I won't lie and say it was easy because it wasn't. It's definitely hard being away from my baby all day, but she's getting adjusted to being at school and aside from drop-off, she loves it :) Work is work. It's not my dream job, but it pays. I will say that it is nice to use my brain in a different manner and not just talk about mommy stuff all day. We definitely both miss the old days of hanging out with our friends.

I know my posts have been lacking pictures lately, so here you go...

this is what Emma and William miss most... loving on each other (and yes, they do just do this randomly throughout their time together)

naughty girl in the sugar bowl

first pigtails!!

Henry, William and Emma

Emma taking her tractor driving very seriously

Riding the train (Jamie got stuck in the car)

Emma and her boys again... William, Emma and Henry

Soaking it up

2009-10-16T08:10:00.003-06:00

Today is my "official" last day as a stay at home mom. On Monday I return to the working world and Emma will spend her first day at daycare. I have so many mixed emotions about this.

I am excited about working again and the possibilities that I will be presented. And as shallow as it sounds, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited about the money... MONEY!!! It will be nice to have a little more cushion if something were to happen :)

I am excited about Emma getting to play with 9 kids who are her age and can teach her things that I can't. I know she's going to love it!

I'll say that the excited part is definitely the minority though.

I am really sad. Sad that I won't get to spend all day with my darling girl. Sad that I won't be the one to comfort her if she's scared or hurt. Sad that she's not really going to know what happened.

I'm also scared. Scared that I won't cut it in the working world... it's been so long since I've used my brain in that capacity. I'm scared of the germs that daycare holds... everyone in Emma's class has a snotty nose and it freaks me out. Scared that the other kids won't like Emma and they will pick on her. Scared that because she doesn't really speak that the teacher won't know what she needs. Scared that she'll miss me and have issues with the separation and turn into a mean, angry child instead of my dear sweet Emma :(

Sad that I won't be able to see this in the middle of the day...

ready for winter!

2009-10-12T20:02:00.003-06:00

Today Emma received a package from our friend Drea. Getting the mail is one of Emma's favorite activities and she was even more excited today when she was able to open up the mailbox AND open a package.

Emma's very first scarf!! Emma is so lucky to have crafty friends that make her beautiful things because I sure don't ;)

She was so excited about her gift that it was really hard to get a photo. Mostly she wanted to just run around and laugh because she was so happy.

Thank you Drea!!

snow day!

2009-10-10T12:12:00.003-06:00

We've had our first snow of the season, the first one that is sticking anyway (it snowed Thursday too)! The Rockies' game is cancelled so Jamie gets to stay home with us all day :)

Because of the icky weather we decided to do a little family baking, Emma loved helping and she also loved sticking her finger in the bowl. Every time I turned my back she would stick her little finger in the batter with a smirk on her face. She loved eating the dough, but the cookie wasn't a huge hit (though to be fair the batter came before lunch and the cookie after).

yum!

this is my favorite part

I like making a mess!

like father, like daughter

2009-09-29T07:56:00.001-06:00

This is Emma's first photo! She was playing with some neighbor kids yesterday afternoon and ran back to the house to get the camera (it was on the front steps) to capture the fun.

not to shabby for a first try :)

Slave driver

2009-09-21T08:31:00.004-06:00

In an attempt to lighten my load around the house I've been training Emma to pull her weight around the house. (please note that all these photos are actually candid, she pulls this stuff out on her own!)

picking tomatoes

dusting

sweeping

watering the garden

helping with her diapers

18 Months!!

2009-09-14T07:52:00.004-06:00

After today my girl will be closer to 2 than to 1. She's very much not a baby anymore, no matter how hard I try to ignore that fact, but 1.5 years seems so grown up. Every day she does something new that blows me away... last week when I told her that I loved her she responded with a "uv u" of her own. Talk about melting your heart! She's so active and independent... she loves to run and climb and jump. Sometimes she's a little too independent and brave and it scares me to death, but I love her sense of confidence. Her personality develops a little more each day, and damn is it cute! She definitely has a little bit of my stubbornness, but mostly she's laid back like her father. She's also extremely social like him and loves to be around lots of people. She's gotten to the age where she actually plays with her friends instead of just along side them and it's cute to see them team up to demolish something :) She's still having some speech delays, but she's really working on telling us things so hopefully we'll be hearing a ton more words soon!! Her eating seems to be much better, she's eating more food on a more consistent basis, though we'll know next week how the weight gain is going. She also got her first haircut... I finally cut her little mullet so that it's even along the back and it's much cuter!!
As for me, I'm trying to enjoy each day that I get to spend with her before going back to work (no, nothing there yet). I LOVE being a mom and it's what I've wanted to do my entire life and I'm so blessed that I have been home with her this last 18 months. There are times when it's incredibly hard, but it's also the most amazing thing I've ever done and definitely what I'm good at :) (I hope no one reading this is suffering from IF, my intentions aren't to make anyone feel bad about not being able to have a child, I'm sorry) Sometimes it's just hard for me to remember that this little person is mine and she fills me with such joy!
This is a series of pictures that Jamie took a couple weeks ago, enjoy!

this is my favorite because it shows her personality perfectly. she spends so much time running around with a smile on her face :)

I am thankful

2009-09-12T13:30:00.004-06:00

for my parents. I seriously think I have the most amazing parents on the planet, I am very, very blessed :)

Last night they watched Emma for no reason, just because they love her (and us). They actually think it's a gift when I "let" her spend the night there. She loves it obviously, because who doesn't love being spoiled to death and showered with attention? And to top it all off this is about half of the produce my father sent home with me from his garden... potatoes, tomatoes (about a million, at least 4 different kinds), onions, peppers, swiss chard, beans, broccoli, and tomatillos. We "traded"... I got that and he got an artichoke. I think I got the better end of that deal. There isn't much that is better than home grown, organic produce, picked this very morning :)

throwback

2009-09-08T07:50:00.002-06:00

I found this picture over the weekend and had to share :)

William and Emma, one year ago. Seriously, could they be any cuter?? look at those adorable chubby faces!!

William and Emma, last night, cage fighting in Emma's crib. My how things have changed!!

But they are both still adorable!

Chicago!

2009-09-02T09:30:00.004-06:00

3 days after we got home from OH, Emma and I were back at it again... this time headed to Chicago for my brother and Sam's engagement party. We had a ton of fun meeting all of Sam's family and their friends, though it was a pretty hard trip for Emma. The little girl does NOT like to sit still and so I spent the entire engagement party chasing her around because she just wants to run. I feel like I never really completed a conversation because I kept having to run after her. But as long as she was given room to run she was a total sport about being kept up late, so I shouldn't complain. Next time I might just leave her at home so I can fully enjoy one of my favorite cities!

travelling through the airport in style

One of the best pics ever of my dad and I

Paul nailed this pose, Emma not so much

We played at Millenium Park one day and had a bit of a hula hoop contest

Dad won, he was really good!

Em got to play in the fountains and loved them!

Me and Paul at the engagement party

Emma perfecting the cheek kiss

Emma was OBSESSED with the dog bed at Sam's parents' house, luckily the dogs shared well ;)

taking a nap (in all seriousness I did try to see if she would sleep in it because she was in need of a nap)

Paul and Sam and their new Snuggies!!

Ohio

2009-08-25T20:49:00.004-06:00

I'm slowly catching up :) 20 hours after we got home from Dublin we were back at DIA for a flight to Ohio, for the 2nd part of the wedding celebration. It was a whirlwind, but we were able to see all the family and some friends too. I will add that late night and early morning flights aren't really that fun with Emma.

playing bb with daddy

Emma followed Duffy around the entire trip. Duffy was a good sport

let me get the drinks!

down

taking a ride!

pensive

Madi, Jack, Dorothy and Emma... all the cousins!

The Schwaberow clan

having some cupcake

Emma's first drink of sparking cider... she LOVED it!

risky business

The UK

2009-08-16T20:32:00.006-06:00

It turns out that Jamie barely took any photos of anything other than people when we were in England, so there isn't much to share. We had a really good time, I wish we would have seen more of London and the English countryside, but it wasn't really a sightseeing vacation, it was about family. Chad and Heather's wedding was gorgeous and English wedding are quite the show. It was TWELVE hours long and we basically ate like 4 times over the course of the wedding... nice! I think my favorite "attraction" in England was Harrod's... I mean what's not to love? The food halls there are amazing and I could have spent all day wandering around and sampling the food. Unfortunately they don't allow photography and we opted to follow the rules :)

big ben and parliament

self portrait on the river Thames

Westminster Abbey

view from the London Eye

the only photo I could find of Cave Castle, the wedding location.

also a great photo of the wedding party

Dublin was also really fun. We toured the Guinness factory of course and tried to get U2 tickets but didn't have any luck :( We also took a day tour to the Irish countryside and had a great time hiking around in the pouring rain.

first stop? fish 'n chips and Guinness of course!

we also ate at a restaurant that advertised the age of their beef and had pictures of cows everywhere. good food, bad view.

some rich dude's land outside Glendaloch

hiking through the bog

cheers!

the river Liffey

view from the top of the Guinness tour, cheers!

back in the saddle

2009-08-12T21:25:00.002-06:00

I know that everyone wants the Europe story, but Jamie still hasn't sent me any pictures and really the story is pretty boring without pictures. I promise they are coming :)
Today I just need to talk about something I'm struggling with these days.... going back to work. Yeah, you read that right, the gig is up. Jamie and I have decided that it's best for our family if I go back to some sort of work. Part of me is really excited about using the part of my brain that knows about more than diapers, part of me is sad to lose the freedom that staying at home and all of me is sad about not getting to spend all my time with Emma.
The struggle isn't so much about going back to work but rather what it is that I want to do with y life. I feel like someone has asked me what I want to be when I grow up and I don't know the answer (side note, when I was little I wanted to be a lawyer and the first woman president). For those of you that don't know, my educational background is in electrical engineer and my employment background is in project management and some engineering. I prefer project management over hardcore design engineering but I'm finding design engineering positions to be more prevalent. I've also found myself wanting to explore other avenues. I am feeling the need to do something "meaningful" with my life. What exactly that means, I'm not sure. I've found a million jobs that appeal to me; from small positions in a NICU, to positions with non profits, or research positions. I'm finding so many things that I "want" to do and many things that I "can" do, but it seems that positions that overlap are few and far between (maybe 1%).
Why is it that I'm 31 and still struggling to find my way in life? I met my brother's boss this weekend. He's my age, married with a child not much older than Emma. He's also the top broker in the company and making more money than I can imagine making at my age. And it's not so much the money, I think it's just being good at something, knowing which path to take and when. I'm surrounded my friends who seem to know what they want and how to get it. I'm married to a man who is lucky enough to truly love his job. How do I find these things? When do I figure it out? Why does it seem impossible to find something that I might actually love AND be good at?
Why is it that I don't feel any more grown up than I did 10 years ago when I was figuring out what to major in?

appeasement

2009-08-06T07:11:00.002-06:00

I've been getting some "comments" from readers that I'm slacking on the blog. I know it, we've been travelling so much that I just haven't had the time or energy. We got back from the UK last Wed, then turned around 20 hours later and headed to OH. We got back from OH on Tuesday, Jamie left Wed and I leave on Fri again. ACK!
I haven't had time to go through our UK pictures so I thought I'd share some of the photos that my parents took while they were staying with Emma.

yep, that is my kid in a shopping bag ;)

practicing good hygiene

eating watermelon like a big girl!

posing with Grandpa

enjoying the garden

dancing shoes

2009-07-30T10:15:00.002-06:00

just a quick pic of what might be the cutest shoes ever :)

trouble

2009-07-20T15:54:00.003-06:00

what? I didn't do anything wrong

hehe!! you mean I'm not supposed to be eating this giant chocolate bar?

leaving, on a jet plane..

2009-07-17T08:50:00.002-06:00

Monday Jamie and I are leaving on a jet plane... to the UK... WITHOUT our baby :( I'm not sure that words can properly express the level of extreme sadness this leaves me with. Emma is staying home with my parents and I know she's going to be in excellent hands, she loves my parents and they adore her (is adore the right word? maybe worship?). I just can't imagine not being able to kiss my sweet baby's neck, or tickle her tummy, or just see her weird gap toothed smile for NINE days. My heart breaks just thinking about it. I know it was the right decision to leave her, Jamie's brother is getting married and there is just so much going on that it would have been a total cluster with her there, and I know that it's going to be great for Jamie and I to have time as a couple again, but damn.
I am really going to miss my girl!

Minnesota

2009-07-12T21:00:00.004-06:00

After going through my photos it seems that my Dad and Jamie have a lot of the photos and they haven't sent them to me yet (hint, hint). But I thought I'd share what I do have :)
We had a great trip! Emma slept the entire way there and was easily entertained on the way back (thanks to the 5 year old boy sitting next to us, who asked within 5 minutes of sitting down "how hard was it to get that baby out of you?", you should have seen the look on his mom's face!). Our entire extended family (minus one uncle) was back for my cousin Tracy's wedding and it was so much fun to see everyone! Emma had a great time with everyone and I had some much needed help :) With everyone around talking all the time, Emma's speech has exploded! She has SO many new words... shoes, cat, meow, Grandpa, more, milk, that, this, look, horse, neigh, keys... in addition to the ones she's had for a while (mom, dad, dog, woof, all done). It was so awesome to watch her little brain grow so quickly! Today she picked up her horse book and said "horse. neigh, neigh". Jamie and I about crapped our pants!!
Tracy and Andy's wedding was beautiful and so much fun. We definitely danced our pants off!

taking a walk with Grandpa

snuggling with Gram (doesn't she look huge?)

blowing bubbles with Gram

sleeping beauty

Can I get anyone a beer?

Look Dad, a horse!

love

group hug

I scream, you scream

2009-07-10T07:56:00.002-06:00

we all scream for ice cream!!
This morning I opened the fridge to take out some food to make Emma breakfast. While I had my back turned I noticed her steal something out and walk away with it... this is what I found :)

Mom, I'm going to go ahead and blame this one on you ;)

(PS - we just returned from a trip to MN/SD and I have a ton more pictures to get through, I just wanted to share this one today)